Who Am I?

I thought I would write something behind this writing that appears here, to give some indication that it is really just the ideas of a person who really does not yet have a clue of how any of it could work. But who believes it is still possible nonetheless...

So who am I?...

My name is Shawn Du'Mmett, I was born in [ ... ].

Essentially, who is this?...

I exist now at this moment - It is a total mystery to me that I do exist and cannot imagine being anyone or anything else. I perceive an infinitesimal part of the universe through my senses and I am in total awe of the beauty and mystery of it all. I am not you - I do not experience you as you do - and that is a mystery beyond my comprehension that I exist, that I am real, that I am here and now. If you feel this mystery within you then isn't it wonderful. You exist and can change your part of the physical universe, you can learn, experience and take part in this awesome creation.

It is my belief that you are like me and hence my hope is that some time, somehow, I can help you be all that you can be too. My real purpose in life is to understand and learn more of the universe around me, to grow and to be all that I can be. To be positive and good in my understanding of what those concepts mean and to help everyone and everything achieve their purpose and destiny.

I am limited by my physical and mental abilities and by my perception of my experiences of the life I can remember so far. I am aging, right now I am 46 and it is a shock to me that my body is slowly deteriorating, aging but inside feeling ageless and the same person that I was when I was 18. It is deeply hard for me to accept that I will not exist in 100 years time or that I cannot perceive anything of life before my birth and my conceptual immortality appears to be just a dream or imagination.

I have my ideals of what I really want from this existence - or any other...
I want to always be - to exist.
I want to always have freedom to choose my destiny.
I want to have the freedom to go anywhere or any time within everything.
I want the freedom to choose my form and my nature at any time.
I want to learn and understand that which created me - that surrounds and is part of me.
I want to do the best that I can do and be the best that I can be.
I want to love everything and help all life.
I want to experience all things that I am drawn to in this universe.

Is this universe, God? By the universe I mean all that exists anywhere, anytime or any dimension or concept that is beyond my understanding and so I will use the concept of the infinite. Or is God the ultimate sum of all that lives, exists?

All I know is that right now, in my present understanding of the universe, over 13 billion years from a catastrophic event, and within 93 billion light years of space that can be perceived, I exist here and now. Made from the same stuff as was created in stars billions of years ago. Where am I within this physical space that appears to surround me, I sense my existence somewhere behind my eyes, but feel emotion from somewhere around my heart. One mystery is that if any one particle of me is removed for a moment and then replaced I would neither cease to exist nor change. I seem to be something different to this physical existence but do not have the knowledge of what it could be. Herein, lies my hope for permanent existence in one form or another.

What do I believe?

I believe that nothing is essentially good or evil but I choose a concept of good because it is inherent in me.
I believe that even though my life may be mundane and unimportant that I have purpose and can at times create something wonderful.
I believe that everything and all life is important, that my current limitations are temporary and with purpose that as I grow I will learn why this is so.
I believe that there are others like me, who understand the basics of what is written here, who are alive also and through them I will learn more about this condition of life that exists now. We will help each other achieve our destinies, through our desire to help each other and all living things and be a positive part of the universe in which we live.

But who am I?

I am Shawn Du'Mmett, an ordinary person, who has not really achieved anything of note, who struggles with everyday life, trying to survive, trying to be a good father, husband and friend, a member of society. Limited by my experiences and abilities, making decisions and actions, doing things wrong and learning sometimes from those mistakes and wishing I never made them. But my essential desire summed up in

'to be all that I can be and to help others achieve all that they can be'.